Monday, April 29, 2013

UK: Polish Immigrants Complain That Natives Are Stealing All Their Jobs.


Saturday, April 27, 2013

BREAKING NEWS: Peace Between Israel And Palestine Reached. Psychologists Cite Stockholm Syndrome As Explanation. Palestinians Embrace Israeli's As Their Captors.

After decades of struggle, Palestinians have signed a peace agreement with Israel over disputed invasion and borders. At what some label as a bizarre and unexpected turn of events peace has arrived to the troubled region. Swedish psychologists have attributed the sudden change in Palestinian behavior - which was traditionally aggressive - to Stockholm syndrome, claiming that the Palestinians have finally accepted their captors.

Friday, April 26, 2013

New Pope's (Pope Francis) Real Identity Revealed - George Bluth Found.


Glenn Beck Says Youth Were Better Under Slavery: "At Least They Had A Secure Job!"

Glenn Beck, outraged by Obama's economic and foreign policies was heard screaming in a fit that youth today are worse off than they were under slavery:
     "They had a job! They knew where their next meal was coming from! Job security was the highest that it has ever been during that period! Can you really say that about today and that communist Obama? Look what he did to this country!"

Wife-Beater Company Finds Massive Success In Romania. Looks To Expand Product Line To Golden Crosses.


America Adds An Extra Star To Its Flag As It Adds Israel As Its 51st State.


Gay Rights Group Bash Porn Industry For Not Having Enough Male Nurse Roles.


Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Breaking: The Weather Network: Winter is coming! George R. R. Martin Confirms.

The Weather Network reported yesterday that after extensive research and an exclusive interview with George R. R. Martin that winter is finally coming. After 5 novels of foreshadowing the day might actually arrive. The Weather Network has predicted that that date might be June 17, 2013. Onlookers blame global warming for such a long interval. A famous meteorologist Ned Stark was heard saying that, indeed, "Winter is coming." Story Developing.

CIA: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Ordered The Assassination Of Michael Jackson To Draw Western Media's Attention Away From Irannian Revolution.


Swine Flu Conspiracy Uncovered. Spread Of Disease Used As A Ploy By Osama Bin Laden To Convert Westerners To Islam.


Economists Discover Canada's Largest Export: Justin Bieber. Prime Minister Vows To Diversify.


Study Finds Smoking Kills. Loneliness.


World Leaders Turn To Reddit For Economic And Political Advice.


Reddit Now Giving Out Criminology And Detective Degrees.


China Names Jacki Chan As Its New Communist Party Leader. Hopes To Bolster Its Human Rights Image.


Nicki Minaj Diagnosed With Autism, Strange Face Twitching Explained. Fans Embarrassed That They Mistook A Disease For Art And Creativity.

"Damn, that shit is fucked up" exclaims Lil Wayne, "I worked with the girl for years and even I didn't know that! Shit I even hit it!" Fans and friend's apparently shocked as Nicki Minaj is diagnosed with autism -  can't believe they didn't see it sooner. "Man I thought that shit was hot during sex, but it turns out I fucked a disabled person?! That shit is fucked."

New Pokemon East vs West Update: More In Game Dialogue Leaked Revealing Possible Taylor Swift Appearance: "Taylor Swift Tried To Use Tackle, But It Failed. Kanye West Didn't Let Her Finish!"

Taylor Swift denied to comment.

New Pokemon Game: Pokemon East vs West Will Let You Capture, Train And Battle Rappers Instead Of Pokemon.

A source close to the project revealed that the new Pokemon game will contain rappers instead of Pokemon.  Some of the in game dialogue has leaked from the game and we have obtained a short transcript:

"A wild Tupac has appeared!"
"Snoop Dogg evolved into Snoop Lion"
"Snoop Lion is unable to battle! Hes too high!"

Breaking: Berlusconi Announces Retirement From Politics And A Career Change. Will Now Pursue Party Planning.


Kim Jong Un's New Single "Gentleman" Hits More Than 2 Million Views In Less Than A Week. Breaks Youtube Records.

After his break out hit "Gangnam Style" Kim Jong Un's new single finally hit the net. In an impressive climb up viewer counts the video has reached over 2 million views on Youtube and again broke records for fastest growing video ever. Kim Jong Un's Gangnam Style became a world phenomenon  becoming the first video ever to break 1 billion view on Youtube. A second hit at such scale is improbable, how ever we will be watching and rooting on.

Putin Proposes To Solve World Financial Crisis With An Arm Wrestling Contest. UPDATE: Putin WINS and SOLVES Financial Crisis.