Rob Ford says he really sorry and is considerign to resign, he will spend time away from his job with his family bt says what he really wants is jsut some crack

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Rob Ford says he really sorry and is considerign to resign, he will spend time away from his job with his family bt says what he really wants is jsut some crack

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Rob FOrd says he smoked crack to try to lose weight

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Rob ford gets caught watching pornography at work, embarrassingly says he forgot to close a tab

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Rob Ford admits to masturbating in city hall immidietley after admiring his crack use

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Rob Ford Hires Hacker to Delete News Stories From Websites - to take down Jon Stewarts Video making fun of him

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Rob Ford Enters Rehab

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Putin Posts a video on youtube of him making a Poutine

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cruel vegetables -have feelings too

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chris brown drake rihanna alternative to rock paper scisors, hasbro makes new ggaem

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marrissa mayer sexiest female in tech - competiton was small, only one other in fact , - arianna huffington jk shes ugly - steals evrything from everyone and puts it on her site - will feature this post

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facebook policve /facebook t oilet

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kanye west says obama hates black people - names new album yeezus

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quintin terentino joins some black guild, says hes blacker than wesley snipes - says he will play all the balck roles in his movie - or says samuel l jackson doesnt know how to portray black people, fires him and plays all roles, thinks hes black

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recent poll chris brown hitting on them not good

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Retailers refuse to sell Chris Brown Greatest Hits album as the cover features Rihanna

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Margaret Thatcher voted as the hottest women in politics, The Queen comes in second. RT says pole was rascists.

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Post Pope Life Pope Benedict Applies for credit card tellign youth not to follow his road and save up while theyre yonge.

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does the pope have a credit card? - stupid person asks this

Alex Jones says iphones are a cia plot/ to mind control device

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cia intercepts it - peeing in a cup is - to put our dietary habits in cia data base
have agents in every hospotal, public clinic, and school nursing 

Michele Bachmann Comes out of the closet

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did u see my husband? only a lesbnian would be with him.

Ann Coulter calls KFC Rascists and Opressive to white people

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arah Palin poked holes in her husbands condoms

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rt and al jazeera partner to launch new ultimate channel - "agasint the US"

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blame US propaganda for something - concpiracy

alqueda discriminated against - denied to board flight fro annual retreat.

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shwarzeneegr reveals governer was a role for movie - undecover movie being filemd - hardest role in his life, had tp prepare super long

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Earthquake? Maybe Quebec has finally decided to separate.

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Survey Shows 100% Of People Who Drink Water Die.

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Russia Unionizes Crime. Criminals Lobby For Job Security.

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Romanians Blast Greeks For Lack Of Cars To Steal. Tell Them To Get A Job.

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Feminist Complain That It's Sexist That Pregnant Women Are Offered A Seat In Public Transportation.

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Sarah Palin Tackles Her Next Challenge To Make American Better: Vampires.

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Italy Skeptical Of Partnering With Germany To Solve EuroCrises. Argues That During Their Last Partnership Germany Didn't Deliver (WWII).

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Citizens From Number Of Countries Blast Their Governments For Not Recognizing Jedi Religion As An Official Religion. UPDATE: Partially True.

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Note: This article will take a break from our usual satirical approach and instead report real facts. Therefore, in its entirety this article is not satire but actual news.

Australia: More than 70,000 people declared themselves members of the Jedi order in the 2001 census.

Canada: 21,000 people declared themselves members of the Jedi order in the 2001 census.

Feminist Outbursts Spark The Creation Of Men's Right's Group.

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Men's Right's Group Concedes To Feminists: "Some things women are better at than men, like giving birth."

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Catholic Church Blasted For Lack Of Kosher Food In The Vatican.

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Dubai Makes It Illegal To Chew Gum In Subway. UPDATE: Actually True.

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Note: This article will take a break from our usual satirical approach and instead report real facts. Therefore, in its entirety this article is not satire but actual news.

Dubai has made it illegal to chew gum while inside the subway due to safety issue and concerns. Several fatalities caused by suffocation from gum related activities has prompted law makers in Dubai to ban the western treat from subways. Those found to have gum

UK: Polish Immigrants Complain That Natives Are Stealing All Their Jobs.

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BREAKING NEWS: Peace Between Israel And Palestine Reached. Psychologists Cite Stockholm Syndrome As Explanation. Palestinians Embrace Israeli's As Their Captors.

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After decades of struggle, Palestinians have signed a peace agreement with Israel over disputed invasion and borders. At what some label as a bizarre and unexpected turn of events peace has arrived to the troubled region. Swedish psychologists have attributed the sudden change in Palestinian behavior - which was traditionally aggressive - to Stockholm syndrome, claiming that the Palestinians have finally accepted their captors.

New Pope's (Pope Francis) Real Identity Revealed - George Bluth Found.

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Glenn Beck Says Youth Were Better Under Slavery: "At Least They Had A Secure Job!"

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Glenn Beck, outraged by Obama's economic and foreign policies was heard screaming in a fit that youth today are worse off than they were under slavery:
     "They had a job! They knew where their next meal was coming from! Job security was the highest that it has ever been during that period! Can you really say that about today and that communist Obama? Look what he did to this country!"

Wife-Beater Company Finds Massive Success In Romania. Looks To Expand Product Line To Golden Crosses.

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America Adds An Extra Star To Its Flag As It Adds Israel As Its 51st State.

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Gay Rights Group Bash Porn Industry For Not Having Enough Male Nurse Roles.

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Breaking: The Weather Network: Winter is coming! George R. R. Martin Confirms.

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The Weather Network reported yesterday that after extensive research and an exclusive interview with George R. R. Martin that winter is finally coming. After 5 novels of foreshadowing the day might actually arrive. The Weather Network has predicted that that date might be June 17, 2013. Onlookers blame global warming for such a long interval. A famous meteorologist Ned Stark was heard saying that, indeed, "Winter is coming." Story Developing.

CIA: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Ordered The Assassination Of Michael Jackson To Draw Western Media's Attention Away From Irannian Revolution.

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Swine Flu Conspiracy Uncovered. Spread Of Disease Used As A Ploy By Osama Bin Laden To Convert Westerners To Islam.

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Economists Discover Canada's Largest Export: Justin Bieber. Prime Minister Vows To Diversify.

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Study Finds Smoking Kills. Loneliness.

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World Leaders Turn To Reddit For Economic And Political Advice.

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Reddit Now Giving Out Criminology And Detective Degrees.

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China Names Jacki Chan As Its New Communist Party Leader. Hopes To Bolster Its Human Rights Image.

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Nicki Minaj Diagnosed With Autism, Strange Face Twitching Explained. Fans Embarrassed That They Mistook A Disease For Art And Creativity.

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"Damn, that shit is fucked up" exclaims Lil Wayne, "I worked with the girl for years and even I didn't know that! Shit I even hit it!" Fans and friend's apparently shocked as Nicki Minaj is diagnosed with autism -  can't believe they didn't see it sooner. "Man I thought that shit was hot during sex, but it turns out I fucked a disabled person?! That shit is fucked."

New Pokemon East vs West Update: More In Game Dialogue Leaked Revealing Possible Taylor Swift Appearance: "Taylor Swift Tried To Use Tackle, But It Failed. Kanye West Didn't Let Her Finish!"

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Taylor Swift denied to comment.

New Pokemon Game: Pokemon East vs West Will Let You Capture, Train And Battle Rappers Instead Of Pokemon.

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A source close to the project revealed that the new Pokemon game will contain rappers instead of Pokemon.  Some of the in game dialogue has leaked from the game and we have obtained a short transcript:

"A wild Tupac has appeared!"
"Snoop Dogg evolved into Snoop Lion"
"Snoop Lion is unable to battle! Hes too high!"

Breaking: Berlusconi Announces Retirement From Politics And A Career Change. Will Now Pursue Party Planning.

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Kim Jong Un's New Single "Gentleman" Hits More Than 2 Million Views In Less Than A Week. Breaks Youtube Records.

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After his break out hit "Gangnam Style" Kim Jong Un's new single finally hit the net. In an impressive climb up viewer counts the video has reached over 2 million views on Youtube and again broke records for fastest growing video ever. Kim Jong Un's Gangnam Style became a world phenomenon  becoming the first video ever to break 1 billion view on Youtube. A second hit at such scale is improbable, how ever we will be watching and rooting on.

Putin Proposes To Solve World Financial Crisis With An Arm Wrestling Contest. UPDATE: Putin WINS and SOLVES Financial Crisis.

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